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The world wide wait...

By Exeter Express and Echo  |  Posted: May 08, 2013

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BAD times tonight, the computer has again failed to turn on in a time consistent with that of a normal computer in a normal house – please, whatever you do, refrain from purchasing a HP Pavilion g series laptop – it will either drive you insane or give you a nervous breakdown, or probably both.

If you do buy one, make sure that you mow the lawn or clean the car or cycle 40 or 50 miles before you sit down to use it after turning it on!

In short, the amount of times I have been a whisker away from opening the front door and throwing the said beast into the air and waiting happily for it to return to the pavement with a crescendo of destruction and wreckage is countless.

I have, so far, always stayed strong and shown an inner strength very inconsistent with my usual behaviour, but when you have 1,000 to 1,500 words to write for say, an hour ago, it is very difficult not to feel a morsel of irritation, especially when you have to wait 45 minutes for this wickedest of laptops to turn on.

Why pray tell hasn't Mr H sent it back I hear you say? The answer is simple; one of our family members lost the receipt – no names mentioned – therefore it has remained at Hargreaves HQ, after all, trying to take a laptop back to PC World without a receipt is like going to Magaluf and expecting to taste cheese and wine for a week – it simply will not happen.

ONLY a quick mention of football – suffice to say that I am delighted to see two of my old clubs reach Wembley, Northampton Town and Brentford FC, who have come through their respective play-off encounters.

They will now face Bradford and Yeovil in their finals and with it have the chance to go up the best way, at our national stadium. Good luck to both.

I really do hope both clubs win and I know one thing for sure, Brentford need to win because I am playing in a charity game for Brentford legends on the May 25, and if they have failed to win the final – they also lost out to automatic promotion with the last kick of the normal season – that game will go down like the most leaden of balloons.

While on the subject of charity games, it was great to turn out for an old club of mine on Sunday against Willand FC (I will only whisper the name Plymouth).

Willand FC were really great hosts and it was a game played totally in the right spirits. I wouldn't be the person I am if I talked about the result alone, it is of course about the taking part. But if you are interested we won 3-2 and I scored the winner. Oh well, if you're really interested I notched the first goal and I set up the other one with a devastating set piece delivery.

Other than that it was a poor display from Mr H! Joking aside, it was great to see some old mates and other than feeling like I was 101 years old the next day and walking like John Wayne, it was really enjoyable to play 90 minutes, even if my son Cameron was watching the game and thinking how much better he was than his dad.

A GREAT event took place at the weekend, the Exeter Family Fun Run and Schools Challenge in aid of the magnificent charity Dream-A-Way.

Held at the Quay in Exeter and sponsored by my old friend Pete at Ironbridge Runner it was fantastic to see such numbers turn out to support their little ones.

Our 'little one' HRH took part and together with several of her classmates they set off at an incredible rate.

We followed on behind giggling away at the frenetic pace that had been set. We had thought it was going to be only a half-mile course but four or five stitches, four or five stops, and another mile and a half later and it was back across the finishing line, medal around neck, cheeks puffed and a request for a chocolate ice cream and a drink of water in no particular order.

Well done to all who took part.

I WILL now speed-type at a rate typically only seen in American courtrooms, as I have just heard a noise upstairs that can only be associated with a wife in a very bad mood.

I am sure that many males of the species will have experienced the same level of tension, when those wardrobe doors are slammed shut with exactly the right amount of force needed so that our ears immediately prick up and the question is asked, 'Are you alright up there my sweetest?'

No reply means that you have been heard, but that no acknowledgement has been given out, this then means that you will HAVE to get up and walk upstairs, tentatively, to find out what the problem is, to meet your fate.

It could be an odd job that you have failed to finish, it could be the lack of clothes in the wardrobe, it could be a random pair of boxers on the floor, it could in fact be a number of issues that have caused the irritation.

On this occasion it was the fact that all the hot water had been used and a wet towel had been left on the side – but I am pretty sure there is a secondary issue, which is the amount of time I have been on this computer!

Short and sweet it will be this evening. And with that in mind I shall leave you with my thought for the day, and it is a very simple one at that.

When this country is good it is very, very, good and when it is bad it is horrid – sound familiar? Well it just so happens that it has been very very good over the last few days. We have just returned from the first surf expedition of the year and I am experiencing that salty sun-kissed feeling that only a day at the beach can bring – not yet showered at 10.23pm!

Granted the wind blew sand into the sandwiches and the sun did have its hat on for a while, but we braved it, because we are British and we are proud! I will now hand the laptop over so that my wife can look up flights in early June!

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